vaporz123

Holidays now. Still been drawing and painting to prepare for figure painting next sem. Been losing a bit of my mojo actually... think i should cut down on 'exercises' a bit and go back to just drawing or painting what i like. just do something for myself rather than the teachers. hmm think i am getting a bit of a block right now

I need to a minute long flash animation of a situation or plot etc. by 1 Nov. No restrictions on style, but i require the steps meaning i want the fla files and swf files. Price negotiable, anyone interested please let me know thanks

perhaps the recent spate of events point to more of what is to come this year. an ex-colleague has passed away after a rather weird accident. he was only about 20. i've never really spoken much to him. but he always came across as a good kid. 20 is way, way too young to die. i can still see him in my head with that easy smile...

then there are things of lesser magnitude, yet resonates very strongly inside me. i just turned down a relationship after approaching this person through the net. i obviously was attracted to him, but after talking for a while these voices just keep nagging at me, like things are not going to be simple, all the bother that tags a relationship. so i tried to slow things down a notch but everything just went wrong and he came do decide that i'm a time-waster. i guess he is right, i am wasting his time and i am not ready to be in a relationship with someone i've barely met for a day -or just not ready for a relationship. why the fuck did i go online?! definitely, no more looking for relationship through the net - that's one more resolution. more went on between us than i let on here, but suffice to say now i feel a little bit like a pile of dog poo that a cat has puked on... whatever that feels like.

to top things off, my guilt is working overtime to remind me how stupidly i allowed my two-week-old phone to be stolen.

this is one fucked up day. i need to seek consolation in tomorrow.  J's family will mourn his loss, but time will assuage their pain. A will be angry but time will wear it off his heart and hopefully a new love finds a home in its place. as for me, beating myself up - for too long - will not right my wrongs. time, we all need more time...

my first entry for the year eh? i lost my two-week-or-thereabouts old iphone 4 - a gift from someone important. a report is lodged, the culprit witnessed, my hope still breathes... not exactly a great start to the year, but i accept my mistake. i cannot stop here to beat myself up - for too long - because the world will not wait around for me.

i have been drawing a lot, been preparing for all those class work that the new sem would bring. it's hurting my neck and deviating my jaw a lot. i don't really have an idea how, but typing this sorts of acknowledges some of the problems i face now. my tmj athritis - suspected - is making me very self-conscious about my looks. i make a good piece of artwork coz symmetry is boring; but not many guys appreciate art. i know i wouldn't for such a case - much less others. all these bother...

time for 2010 resolutions:
1. get a 3.75 GPA - no subject should fall beneath B
2. be myself - yes be boring: read poems, draw still lifes, oogle at guys, study 24-5, let your jaw deviate and all that crap.
3. enter a piece for inaugural uob poy
4. do not misplace my wallet,pen, handphone, watch, passport, specs, rucksack, and paint materials... the rest are still all right.
5. take bus to school and stop being a brat - sort of clashes with 2 but needs to be done.
6. no more fuck for funs - i doubt i can do this, let's just try  
7. try to recover my phone - now this is really just a new year resolution.

ps:to anyone reading, i'm sorry but i just like to talk a lot about such crap, just block off my blogs if it annoys you... too much.

finally finished the piece of still life i was working on. doesn't really turned out the way i want - as usual - but i do see improvement. will start a new piece soon. recently, it seems like i'm addicted or seized by some impulse to keep working. whatever. just very glad to have the mood up.

tomorrow last day of ns. alas, this phase of my life is over
back to sem 2 at nafa come jan. wonder how i'll fit in with the kids.